Monday, December 24, 2007
SINGAPORE!!
Im in SINGAPORE!! Gave my folks a surprise! Especially my grandfather. :)
i DONT WANNA LEAVE.
CAN SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME HOW THIS IS FAIR..
why do i have to leave and have a life there?
Why must i live so damn far away from my family?
Why can I only spend 2 weeks out of the WHOLE ENTIRE BLOODY YEAR with my family?
Why can I only spend 2/52 weeks with friends that I have grown up with.. friends that have known me my entire life and friends that I feel so comfortable being with and that I love?
Everytime I leave my heart feels like its being ripped into 2.. WHY is there a continent separating me?
God i dont wanna waste a single moment of being in Singapore.. and with people that I love. Its so bloody frustrating, and everytime i think of leaving my heart starts tearing, and i just wanna get out there and spend more time with people that i know im not going to see for what seems like a whole life time.
I try to avoid even thinking bout leaving, in fact i try to push it to the back of my mind, but ultimately, there's no way to avoid this.
God, if your listening, i dont wanna leave..
deb's outta there..
DEbBy [12/24/2007 01:47:00 AM]
___makee a wiish___
Saturday, December 08, 2007
What to chuck.. what not to chuck?!!
Friday night, 12.45am.
In my room.. trying to pack. Tonight Josh came over and spent some quality time with me. Was heaps cool! He brought over this stupid movie.. Blades of Glory.. haha okay it was so stupid but some parts were really, really funny. After, we watched this other movie - one i picked. haha - Bring it on - ALL OR NOTHING!! HAHA its just seriously because I like Hayden P. haha Josh wont admit it, but he loves it! hahahaha.
Then he left, and I started packing... but right now.. im starting to freak out again. What the hell have i gotten myself into? I look around my room.. half packed.. Law and Order playing on my DVD player.. clothes and bags strewn everywhere, on the bed... the floor is filled with trash bags, paper, litter, clothes.. OMG im really moving.
This is reality.
This is happening.
This is now.
God please see me through this next week. I dont know how to react.. Everytime i pack I feel so scared.. what with bills, mortgage.. the responsiblity and ownership of what you have given me and blessed me with.. I know that you said that with blessings, come responsibility. You also said TO whom much is given, much is expected. OMG. So what am I supposed to do now?But I know everything will be okay in the end. Its just that I really dont do well when I know things are about to change forever. Once I get used to living in my new house, and get used to where things are etc, I will be fine. Today after work I walked to the city, listening to my iPod. It also gave me a good chance to think and reflect about the kindness of God, and how he has so kindly and graciously seen me through this year. God is so, SO kind.
And I felt in my spirit, as i was walking, and listening to Michelle Branch (ok I think God doesnt need to speak only when im listening to christian music).. I just felt God saying.. "Calm down, stop over analysing this, and enjoy it.." I dont know if im right or not, but OH WELL I dont care, because.. that did it for me.. I just felt so happy...and peaceful. haha.
haha but now its late, and its dark outside. I am freaking out because I know things are about to change forever, but I know in the long run, it will be okay.
It will always, ALWAYS be okay.
So right now im looking forward to a busy weekend!
Between packing all my stuff into boxes, This saturday, I have to squash a back up singers meeting (that i am organising), an open house inspection, a work christmas dinner function at night...
On sunday I have church, and then am going shopping with Serena at Harbour town. By sunday night everything has to be pretty much packed into boxes.
Im getting the keys on Monday immediately after the settlement, and will start moving in for real on Tuesday onwards(after i throughly clean the house Monday night), as my rent ends effectively this Thursday...
Its all very exciting, and all very, very cool.
i am so looking forward to it.
Imagine.. by next friday, I will be living in my new house.
Please pray for me. I need it.
deb's outta there..
DEbBy [12/08/2007 01:09:00 AM]
___makee a wiish___
Sunday, December 02, 2007
So! What does a house-owning woman wear/look like???
Oh man.. haha im freaking out.. 8 days more to go till the big move..
i cant believe it.. im moving.. and ill be living the life of a single household.
That would be me.
I think ill turn the other bedroom into a study/music studio.. a place for writing songs, going on the net, you know..
And I will try not to have the TV in my bedroom anymore. It will be in its proper place.. in the lounge area.
And the weirdest part is.. I dont have to be accountable to anyone! (I mean, besides my parents and grandparents)..
ANd another weird part.. i feel like im in an "out-of-body" experience. Its so NOT my life.. its NOT! haha my friend made a comment the other day about how my life seems to be like one in the movies.. please dont misunderstand - im not bragging. It just seems surreal thats all.
And seriously, all glory goes to God. It would not be possible if not for him.
deb's outta there..
DEbBy [12/02/2007 04:53:00 PM]
___makee a wiish___
