Update
I cut my hand whilst sterilising the instruments today.. hope I don't get any kind of skin cancer, and that it isnt infectious.. yeah.. its like..12.45am now.. what am I doing up so late at night updating my blog for?? Simple. I have 2 tests tomorrow, and I am screwed for both of them. I haven't studied for either of them, and I am so screwed its not funny...
I have so many things to deal with this week... like.. insurance for the car, seeing a lawyer, my studies, dealing with my attitude towards some people.. and studies.. work.. yeah.. I am so far behind, i am going to have to use my holidays to catch up with all the work, i dont wanna fail everything..
On Sunday I was really in a bad mood because I kept on quarrelling with Josh It was so bad.. we were thinking of breaking up. I mean, he was thinking of breaking up with me cos I put too much pressure and too high expectations on him. He was thinking of breaking up with me. Far. Out. I must really be a horrible horrible person for him to even think about breakin up with me. I mean.. this is Josh. This is the guy that would never ever break up with me, and yet he was thinking about it... i must really be a horrible person for him to even consider it.
Going to church for fresh didnt help anything. We had a surprise birthday celebration for Gaius,(Happy Birthday Gaius if your reading this) and this was the highlight of the day.. the whole day was crap.. i was sleeping in the afternoon when Riana calls me up and tells me that her grandmother wanted to talk to me. Well, the "talk" turned out to be this whole big lecture about how I should have told them about the accident because they are my true family blah blah blah and no one else will care about me if they dont.. yeah wadeva. I did tell Riana though.. I know I was wrong in not telling her, and being rude to my aunty at church didnt help the whole situation. Damnit. what a way to wake up.. getting a big lecture. Then at church, I just felt that I was the target for the sermon, as if the speaker was directing the whole entire sermon to me. I mean come on give me a friggin break. Please. If you dont know the whole situation then I suggest you back off.....
I know I have to deal with this bad attitude towards the sermon and the preacher.. cos I feel all his sermons directed at me, cos he wants me to shape up. Thats not the way to make me respect someone - You have to earn my respect. It just seems that everything that has been piling up over these last few weeks have now been caving in, and I really do not wanna deal with all these things. I just want to go to my bed, bury my head in my blanket and, with my smellie pillow, never come out again. I know its just my bad attitude, and I promise I will deal with it. But Right now i just feel like crap.
deb's outta there..
